The Reluctant Guardian

Yesterday, I had to stop myself from killing the mortal goddess. She has to meet someone who will show her the apartment her other mortal friend found for her. She has to change environment, I suggested, if she wanted to forget that deadbeat ex-boyfriend of hers, who by the way, is the main reason why she chose to live in that hell forsaken purgatory.

She refused to get up. She simply stared at the ceiling for some minutes, smiled and said something to herself. I hate her. How I loathed her daydreamings! I asserted my presence and told her to get ready. She has class after lunch. She has to move. When she was finally done with all those girly rituals, I was almost on the edge of hysteria. Why can't she move a little bit faster?

Before we went to see the place, I forced her to eat some decent meal. She has not been eating right for months now, always feeding herself with chocolates and that awful strawberry milk drink-human food that makes me puke all the time. I reminded her that if she wants to start thinking right, she has to eat right first. She just smiled at me and insisted that she didn't feel any hunger at all. I made her eat some chicken dish, which humans call "fried chicken". It's the only meal in the world that the goddess can eat without complaint.

Stomach satiated, we proceeded to her student's house. It bored me to death. I wanted to strangle the student's wife. She is pregnant and an eyesore at that. I hate her. She is just another nosy Korean who likes to discuss nonsensical things, thinking it would make her sound intelligent. Without her make-up, she definitely looks like a blank distorted canvass. Ugly, in other words.

After her class, we went to this Filipino infested town and checked out the apartment. The house is located in a clustered compound full of Filipinos. She will be sharing the place with a couple. The man of the house is a vexatious loser who chose to live-in with a woman 20 years his junior. I bet he is taking advantage of her generosity. Filipino men are big time bummers. The goddess found them funny, I did not. These are the kind of Filipino washouts who hates it when another Filipino is better than they are.

She does not belong in this place. I don't like the whole idea of her moving here. She's safer in that dormitory, albeit it's another hellish place to dwell on in the first place. I felt bad about my suggestion. I meant to tell her that she should reconsider the whole thing but she already made a deal with the couple. I would like to butt in and say my piece; I was not in the proper position to manifest myself though. I am just her guardian -- created to shield her from the harshness of mankind. I need to watch the goddess closer.

Later, she got a call from someone. She wants to go out. I told her not to see anyone for the meantime. She's in such gullible state now, I don't want her troubled any further. I suggested we go to the Internet shop. She didn't want to; said she's not up to it. We argued. I succeeded.

I love the place. The dingy lights, the cavern like bulbs booming above our heads reminds me of the place where I used to belong- darkness. I embraced the place as my own. With all these humans around, the goddess is safe. I feel better.

The child-like goddess started to make an entry in her site, something about love and some bullshit crap again . I started to feel infuriated. I told her that I want to make an entry in my site. Begrudgingly she let me and contented herself by smoking and listening rowdy rock music.

When I was in the middle of my entry, she insisted that she needs to talk to some friends online, as she was getting bored. I really would very much like to kick her in the face and tell her to shut up. I don't understand why she likes talking to those idiots online. Why can't she talk to me instead?

That's one of the things that I hated about her. Her need to talk to people online -- people who are just mere words, who dupe her with their empty lies, cunning deceits and worthless perversions. I know that sometimes she likes to play along. I worry about her. She's so susceptible with her honesty.

While she was happily chatting with morons about moronic things, I looked around trying to absorb the aura of the place. The ticking of the keyboards, the animated sound of PC games. All these are humans' invention to ease the burden of everyday living.

Children squeaking and giggling annoyed me. They should be out in the streets, play hide and seek under the moonlight, instead they fatten up their asses with junk food and dulled their brains with stupid computer games. These are what they call man's creation for "recreation" or inventions for brain stimulation. The hell it is. I think it is man's procrastination for something far more sublime.

At last, the goddess, tired from chatting, reading and re-reading those irrelevant emails her loser ex-lover sent her, asked me to take her home.

On the way home, she suddenly turned morose again. Started to sing to herself and sobbed. At times I don't get her at all. I debated with myself against this thought.

If I don't understand her, who else will?