Betrayed

She thought she was betrayed. She felt so betrayed.

I felt her anguish, her pain, her hurt. I distanced myself. I don't want to be part of her anymore. We have gone through this hell before, but if I abandon her now the more she would feel betrayed.

Is there ever an end to this?

The day started with I wondering when will I ever have the chance to write here again. It is always the mortal goddess who enjoys the sheer satisfaction of scribbling her thoughts. I always give in to her whims and schemes no matter how childish they are. She is my mistress, my sister, my alter ego. Her happiness means death to me, but still I relentlessly gave in to her insatiable quest for a better life.

Now that she sucked the thoughts out of her brain to write something which she justified will earn her more money, I took the liberty of updating my journal.

So many things happened since I last wrote here. So many, that I can not find the right words to describe the events that took place in the past long placid months.

She doesn't even care about my existence anymore. There were moments she is willing to let go of me. I am thankful that getting hurt is part of existing in this human world; without it, I would have succumbed to a long sleep a long time ago.

I will give her time to be just herself now, to be happy, to be joy. She deserves a raucous sense of blitheness more than anybody, if anyone does. Though she needs to sort things out, I know she can make it on her own now.

Much as I hate it I will have to enjoy my slumber in the depths of the earth.

I miss the smell of soil anyway.